Baking | Salted Caramel & Chocolate Cake

Baking | Slutty Brownie

This was ridiculous. It wasn't even enjoyable because it was too sweet, too much of a novelty and far too much going on.

I made it for my birthday so I'm glad I didn't make it for anyone else!

I ate half a slice and that was probably 500 calories, ugh.

I'm glad I tested it using 2 box mixes of cookie and brownie and I didn't waste decent ingredients.

I recommend it for the novelty and maybe for a party but none of my family liked them as they are a bit fussy about baked treats, they mainly prefer traditional flavours and nothing too sweet...

I wouldn't bother again, I do prefer more natural bakes.

Cake Decoration | Dried Pineapple Flowers

This is easy but time consuming, so good if you've got the evening at home or all day. 

I think I originally found a photo of these on Pinterest or Twitter, then I experimented 2 or 3 times to work out how to do it.

Pre-heat the oven to Gas Mark 1

Get a ripe pineapple

Get a decent large serrated bread knife

Slice the ends off 

Slice the skin off

Then slice really thin slices, as thin as you can. I wanted to use a mandolin but it's not wide enough for a pineapple, maybe other brands are wider so give it a go.

When you have sliced up as many "flowers" as you want, or the whole pineapple, grab the baking tray.

If you have a non-stick muffin tin, then you won't need to oil it, otherwise spray it with oil or very lightly oil with olive oil. 

Lay the pineapple slices in the holes

If you need to, you can use 2 or 3 muffin tins on different shelves in the oven.

Leave them in the oven for 30 minutes, then check, rotate the pan, set the timer got 30 minutes again. Repeat.

Should take 2 hours, or about that, after 2 hours turn the oven off and leave them in there to cool down and dry out more. 

Baking | Selling cakes to angry people

One of the most ridiculous things to happen when serving people cake has been the time we got shouted at quite aggressively that the gooey, decadent chocolate brownie we had been selling at a fete, was not the world's best brownie.

We advertised on a chalk board that we were selling the worlds best brownie and you could have it cold or warmed with fresh whipped Isle of Wight cream. It's an incredible brownie. It is my standby birthday present if I forget and people request I make it. 

It's the recipe that won an award so we were not lying or exaggerating. We told people to make conversation that they could find the recipe online and it's really quite simple, it was fun! 

We also had to explain what "mocha" was quite a few times (what is moo-ch-cha cake?) and we were asked if our tea urn was a doughnut fryer... err no. It's a tea urn. It heats water like a kettle.

Anyway. I was making someone a cup of tea with the tea urn, standing on the slightly damp grass in our marquee when I heard someone shout "I demand to see who is in charge of this... of this organisation" she sounded really angry and my heart sank, what had I done? Maybe she had tripped on the marquee's guide ropes? Was she from environmental health and I was doing something illegal and dangerous? 

I turned around quickly and gave the drinks I was making to my customer who smirked at me and walked away. I walked over the the lady at the counter and said I am running the cake stall if that's what you mean?

She was really angry. 

She was agitated and hopping from foot to foot. She had her handbag clutched to her side and was holding a brownie on a paper plate with a wooden fork stabbed into it, standing up in protest but wobbling due to the gooey brownie, the paper plate and the fact the lady was hopping mad.

She thrust the plate at me, almost throwing it, I grabbed it so it didn't fall to the floor and said I'm terribly sorry, how can I help? 

She shouted, actually SHOUTED at me:

"THIS IS NOT THE WORLDS BEST BROWNIE" 

Not quite understanding and taking a while to process this statement I said oh, umm sorry is it not? I said "the recipe won an award for the worlds best brownie last year. I will happily give you a refund if you're not happy."

She said in a clipped sentence IT. IS. NOT. COOKED. and snatched the plate back from me and then started using the fork to repeatedly smear the uneaten brownie onto the plate with the fork in order to prove that it wasn't cooked. Nice.

I glanced at my friends who were helping serve drinks and cake, the were staring in disbelief. 

Well I of course said that this brownie is similar to a chocolate fondant, it is cooked for 40 minutes but is meant to be left slightly soft in the middle as traditionally brownies are slightly gooey with firm, chewy edges. 

Now this lady wasn't just complaining to get her money back, she was enraged.

I don't understand why she was so very angry and had taken the brownie as a personal insult. 

Maybe she was having a bad day or something, you don't know what people are going though for them to suddenly snap at something that seems random to you.

She shouted again, obviously feeling like we weren't understanding.

I AM TELLING YOU I AM A RETIRED HOME ECONOMICS TEACHER AND THIS IS COMPLETELY RAW. I said quietly, well it's not completely raw, it has been cooked in the oven, you can see it's been cooked, it's just how it's meant to be. It's an American brownie, not a sponge cake. Like a melt-in -the-middle chocolate pudding?

She didn't even respond. She just looked at us silently still fuming and bright red in the face and stormed off clutching her £3.

Please bear in mind we were a marquee in a field at a fete. We weren't a business trying to con anyone, we were raising money for charity and providing people with hot drinks and cakes so they could sit down, feed babies and be under shelter of the marquee. 

Baking | Cinnamon Apple Bundt Cake

INGREDIENTS

225 grams soft butter

(plus more for greasing the bundt tin generously)

300 grams caster sugar

6 large eggs

350 grams plain flour

½ teaspoon bicarbonate of soda

4 teaspoons vanilla extract

6 apples

4 teaspoons cinnamon

1 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg

1 teaspoon allspice

ICING

8 heaped tablespoons icing sugar

dash milk / water to make a thick paste

1 or 2 teaspoons cinnamon